I Feel Old

Lately, I have felt very old. It could be due to being worn down by my many years on this planet. It could be due to the way the lives of others around me are going. Whatever the cause, I feel old. Of course, it doesn't help when AARP wants me to join. Yes, you read that correctly, and yes this is the 25 year old Big Cray you've all come to know and love (or absolutely despise... no middle ground). AARP is dying to have me join their organization. The letter I received from them the other day (and not the first mind you) went as follows:

Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.

Fully eligible, eh? What wonderful records they have, much like Verizon's. Anyway, it continues:

If you have already sent in your registration, please excuse this notice

Nope, haven't sent in my registration, can't excuse this notice. I guess I have to read on...

You need only return the form above. Please remove and keep the card below as your record of enrollment. You will receive a new card and Membership Kit, with full details of your benefits.

Well, bully for me then! That sounds like an official invitation. All I have to do is fill out the form that asks my date of birth, work status, desired membership length and rate, which I guess I should assume is optional because there is a nifty check box for "check enclosed," which I will definitely leave unchecked when I return this to claim my membership to AARP, and they can't do a damn thing about it. I mean... they said it very clearly that I "need only return the form" because their "records show" that I'm "fully eligible." There's nothing in there about aging a bunch of years or sending them any money.
25 year old senior citizen coming through! Move it you damn punk whipper snappers!

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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute