Close, but not quite...

Today, MSN is featuring an article entitled "The Customer Service Hall of Shame" in which they reveal the results of some user polls as to who has the worst customer service. As would be expected, my old foe Verizon scored on their list. However, I was quite surprised as to how low it scored. The results were:

Hall of Shame
Sprint ~ 40%
Bank of America ~ 30%
Comcast ~ 30%
Time Warner Cable ~ 29%
AT&T ~ 26%
Citibank ~ 24%
Wal-Mart ~ 23%
Verizon ~ 22%
Wells Fargo ~ 21%
DirecTV ~ 20%

Dishonorable Mention
Dell ~ 19%
Circuit City ~ 19%
Best Buy ~ 14%
Home Depot ~ 13%
Sears ~ 12%
Macy's ~ 10%

Now, while I'll agree that Citi deserved a higher spot on this list, judging by the fact that the whole company in essentially a highly organized scam, I don't understand how Verizon lost to Wal-Mart and AT&T. I realize there are a lot of people who hate Wal-Mart for no other reason than Wal-Mart is better at business than their businesses. I realize that AT&T scares a lot of people with their size. However, both of these companies have always provided excellent service and decent customer service. Verizon gives crap service and crap customer service.

Also, Wells Fargo should have been waaaay higher on the list. They are nearly as bad as Citi. In addition, I don't grasp the Dell haters. I have dealt extensively with Dell's customer service, and I haven't really had any problems at all with them.

One glaring omission from the list was PeoplePC. How were they left off? From my experience, they are one of the most poorly run companies I've seen, and their customer service is via a 900 number. How in the blue holy hell did they not make this list? Anyway, take all this for what you will, and feel free to complain about companies here if you'd like. There's no reason I should be the only one doing it.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Celebrity Fit Club

The downward trend continues for this show.

For the first few seasons, they had people like Ralphie May who actually needed to lose some weight to be healthy. Back then, my biggest gripe with the show was that they were harassing and pushing Tocarra too much, seeing as she was obviously in pretty good shape and carried her just over 200lb frame very well.

Over the last few seasons, I have only been able to stomach the first episode of each season. They just keep bringing in smaller and smaller celebrities, and for the last few seasons, they were mostly people I didn't give two s***s about.

Well, this season, I gave the first episode a chance again, and I have to say, I was disgusted. The largest female was in the 170lb range, while the rest came in around 150. Of course, Harvey and his two goons for the season had to act like they had just registered 600lbs.

It's 150lbs people! Unless she's really short, that doesn't even qualify for BBW. That's just average build! Will this show only be satisfied when every female celebrity is a lil carbon copy bonebag? What's worse is that this show is now essentially promoting that if you are a woman over 150lbs, then you are morbidly obese and you are going to die unless you lose 30lbs.

Thank you, Celebrity Fit Club, for seeing the uprising of the BBW movement, and giving it a swift kick in the self-esteem... f***ing assholes.

Oh, and Dustin Diamond is off his f***ing rocker too.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Frozen Foods Make You Skinny

Years ago, Subway introduced a guy named Jared. They started the commercial with "Remember Jared?" to which most of America replied "No." Nonetheless, Subway ran with the concept that eating their sandwiches (minus anything that might give them flavor) could help you lose weight. They also suggested the laughable notion that Jared was getting women since he lost the weight, which we all know is bunk. He was a fat, goofy looking son of a bitch. Now he's a skinny, goofy looking son of a bitch. Trust me, he's still not getting any.
Well, now Lean Pockets has started a similar campaign. Their guy is named Anthony, and he was a pale, kinda creepy, happy, smiling marshmallow until he started eating Lean Pockets religiously. Now, as you can tell from the top photo, which appears to be a mugshot from a recent arrest, that he is less happy, still creepy, and... uh... no longer wearing a hat. They couldn't get two full body shots? He could have taken the top pic while he was fat like the bottom pic if he had sucked in his cheeks and lowered his shoulders. Great before and after pictures, Lean Pockets!
Honestly though, does anyone believe that Lean Pockets were instrumental in his weight loss? Sure, they're not Hot Pockets, but they are still not health food. The only way I can see him effectively losing weight due to Lean Pockets is if his previous diet consisted of Crisco, road gravel, and random drifters.
I think the real key to this is when he mentions that:

with the wide variety of flavors, I didn't have to eat the same thing every day.

Tony, you do realize that there are more things in the grocery store than the frozen food aisle, right? There are aisles and aisles of pasta, and vegetables, and fruit, and dog food, and all kinds of wonderful foods that are better for you than friggin' Lean Pockets!
Don't get me wrong about this entry. I have absolutely nothing against larger folks (and actually prefer a BBW to a twig), but don't bulls*** me and tell me frozen foods are now a weight loss aid, at least not unless you give me a chance to grab the hip waders first.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

I Feel Old

Lately, I have felt very old. It could be due to being worn down by my many years on this planet. It could be due to the way the lives of others around me are going. Whatever the cause, I feel old. Of course, it doesn't help when AARP wants me to join. Yes, you read that correctly, and yes this is the 25 year old Big Cray you've all come to know and love (or absolutely despise... no middle ground). AARP is dying to have me join their organization. The letter I received from them the other day (and not the first mind you) went as follows:

Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.

Fully eligible, eh? What wonderful records they have, much like Verizon's. Anyway, it continues:

If you have already sent in your registration, please excuse this notice

Nope, haven't sent in my registration, can't excuse this notice. I guess I have to read on...

You need only return the form above. Please remove and keep the card below as your record of enrollment. You will receive a new card and Membership Kit, with full details of your benefits.

Well, bully for me then! That sounds like an official invitation. All I have to do is fill out the form that asks my date of birth, work status, desired membership length and rate, which I guess I should assume is optional because there is a nifty check box for "check enclosed," which I will definitely leave unchecked when I return this to claim my membership to AARP, and they can't do a damn thing about it. I mean... they said it very clearly that I "need only return the form" because their "records show" that I'm "fully eligible." There's nothing in there about aging a bunch of years or sending them any money.
25 year old senior citizen coming through! Move it you damn punk whipper snappers!

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute