Sunday, November 18, 2007

Long one makes it go: An open letter to drivers on Indiana 64

Dear drivers on Indiana 64 between the Wabash River and Princeton,

I hate you. I really do. In driver's ed, they should have taught you that there is such a thing as a gas pedal. They should have also taught you that it has many positions, not just two: on and off.

For those of you that prefer the off position, I hate to tell you, but the quarter mile long line of cars is not following you because they want your autograph. You're driving too slow. No, you do not have double vision. The speed limit is actually 55, not 5. I'm sure you believe that if the people following you wanted to pass you, they simply would. Of course, this is nearly impossible on a two lane blacktop with constant oncoming traffic. Just GO FASTER!

For those of you that prefer the on position, representing full throttle, pay some damn attention! Overtaking a quarter mile of traffic in one pass while oncoming traffic swerves wildly off the road to avoid you is not a good idea. Having three feet to spare in a potential head-on collision is not good enough. Personally, I don't care if you idiots kill yourselves, but if you're doing it while I'm in the oncoming lane, I do. The world will not end if you drop below 100 momentarily. USE SOME F***ING COMMON SENSE!

In closing, Indiana 64 drivers, get your heads out of your asses... you'll see the road better that way.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Saturday, October 13, 2007

And now to piss off the smokers...

I really wanted to stay out of this debate, but I've heard so much complete idiocy on this subject that I just could not avoid it any longer. The idiocy I've heard from the smokers' camp has made something painfully clear:

The vast majority of smokers are unreasonable, self-centered assholes.

Was that harsh? Perhaps, but it seems to be the only real conclusion I can come to. Despite what smokers may think, smoking in a closed, public place is not a civil liberty. If it were, the following would also be civil liberties that one could legally do in bars:

  • Start trash fires

  • Defecate on the grill

  • Replace the grease in the deep fryer with 10W-40

  • Replace the waiter's pepper with lead shavings

  • Shove asbestos ceiling tiles into running oscillating fans

  • Ejaculate on random patrons

  • Ejaculate on the waiter

  • Ejaculate into running oscillating fans

  • Defecate into running oscillating fans

  • Ejaculate in the deep fryer

  • Ejaculate on the grill

  • Shove random patrons into running oscillating fans

  • Start random patron fires

I think you get the point. Each of these things will get you arrested. Some of them are even less harmful to other people in the bar than smoking around them. So, to conclude, I'll make this very simple:

If your actions are harming or endangering others, there are grounds to ban them. Get your head out of your ass.

(Hear that, people who use cellular phones while driving?)

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Mendenhall, Benoit, and the Media

Yes, this may be a venture into the more serious for this blog, but seeing as Mendenhall is a local of my area who I have actually met in the past and know the daughters of (the oldest daughter is actually one of the people that was with us when we saw the van full of Mexicans lose a wheel on 57), I figured I should take a look at how the media is handling this story. The way the mainstream media handled the Benoit case really gave some insight into how completely incompetent the media really is. From getting facts wrong and jumping on wild guesses like they are the gospel to just making up their own news altogether, the media has sickened me with their ineptitude. The question was: could they get the Mendenhall story right?

For those of you unfamiliar with the Benoit case, he was the pro wrestler who allegedly killed his son and wife before committing suicide last month. The day the story broke, the police stated that the theory they were running on at that time was a double murder suicide. The media then reported it had been ruled a double murder suicide, thus making the conviction themselves. Of course, a double murder suicide doesn't leave you anybody to punish. Therefore, upon finding steroids on his premises, the media immediately reported that he did this in a fit of roid rage, and then worked to attack the company he worked for, WWE. Geraldo began making up his own news when he tried to connect the death of Sherri Martel to the whole thing, despite the fact that it happened over a week earlier and had completely different circumstances. Add Bill O'Reilly's slanderous statement that every pro wrestler is on steroids and cocaine, stir, let simmer, and you have a big ol' pot of piss poor journalism.

The Mendenhall case is very different. Bruce Mendenhall is a trucker from Albion, IL. He is accused of killing hookers... a lot of hookers. The cases the police believe him to be guilty of involve hookers shot and left dead (I'm going to officially dub him the "Prostishooter"), mostly at truck stops, over the last seven months. However, that doesn't stop certain news outlets from trying to attach him to random murders dating as far back as 1992 with no better founding than he drives a truck and he killed some hookers in 2007.

The cases currently being attributed to him are as follows:

On January 29th, Deborah Ann Glover, 43, an Atlanta prostitute, was found shot to death beside the parking lot of a Motel 6 in Sewanee, GA, just off Interstate 85.

On February 22nd, Sherry Drinkard, 43, a Gary, IN prostitute with a lengthy arrest record, was found stripped naked, shot once in the head and dumped in a snow bank at a TA truck stop in Lake Station, IN.

On June 6th, Symantha Winters O’Neal, 48, yet another prostitute, was found shot and dumped in a trash can (remember kids, when you're done with your hooker, be sure to place them in the proper receptacle) at a Pilot in Lebanon, TN.

On June 26th, Sara Hulbert, 25, was found shot to death at a TA truck stop in Nashville, TN. I've not found any mention of if she was a prostitute or not, but I'm going to guess that she was, seeing as they have a lovely file mug shot of her, looking the part. This is the one he was arrested for.

On July 1st... well, to do it justice, you have to read this description from The Tennessean:

On the afternoon of July 1, a semi with a mustard-yellow cab and white trailer was parked at a small local truck stop in Birmingham, Ala. According to police, several local prostitutes climbed onto the truck, trying to coax out the driver. But the cab's curtains remained tightly shut. Eventually, the truck stop owner came out, shooed the women away and banged on the truck door and ordered the driver to leave.

The truck pulled out. Ten minutes later, a passer-by spotted the body of Michelle Carter, 43, of Birmingham, splayed on the pavement next to the spot where the truck had been parked.

"She'd been shot and killed and thrown to the side of the road with a bag over her head," said Birmingham Police Detective Mike Allison.
There's no word on if Carter was a prostitute, but my guess is that she was, seeing as the other prostitutes were swarming his truck before they were "shooed" away (yes, you shoo away hookers, just like you shoo away mosquitoes or stray dogs) by the truck stop owner. I figure the hookers smelled one of their own in trouble and were trying to rescue her.

Finally, Bruce confessed to killing a woman on July 11th and leaving her in a car at a Flying J near a Hardee's on the south end of Interstate 465. They have not found this body yet.

Have you noticed a pattern in these cases? He shot hookers. Well, we can't let that get in the way of people making up their own news, Geraldo style. Dana Kozlov from CBS 2 out of Chicago reports that authorities are trying to connect Mendenhall to the murder of 21 year old Tammy Zywicki in August of 1992. I have no problem with people trying to find leads, but the CBS 2 story seems to be doing its best to act as if this is all but confirmed, and as was learned from the Benoit case, reporting like this only makes the gullible public believe it actually is confirmed. Here's the case the story pleads:
Fifteen years ago next month, 21-year-old Tammy Zywicki's parents tearfully pleaded for her return after she was abducted along I-80. Her body was found a week later near Springfield, Mo., stabbed eight times and wrapped in a blanket. Witnesses told police they'd seen a semi-truck near her disabled car the day she disappeared.
Already, this does not fit the pattern. She was a stranded motorist, not a hooker. She was stabbed repeatedly, not shot. It continues:
Witnesses described a tall, brown-haired man, 35 to 40 years old, standing near Zywicki and her car. Later, investigators released a sketch of the suspected truck - white with brown and yellow stripes on the cab and trailer. Mendenhall's cab is yellow; his trailer is white with a horizontal brown stripe along the side.

Police say Mendenhall confessed to shooting Sara Hulbert. It is not clear how he says he killed his other victims.
First off, the last sentence is odd in its phrasing. Simply put, they want to lead you to think that since he has not come out and claimed "yep, shot all of 'em" that he likely used other means to murder each one. In actuality, all that have been found so far have been shot.

Secondly, the article seemingly purposely paraphrased the official FBI's Most Wanted record to suit their purposes. The FBI says:
The driver of the tractor/trailer is described as a white male between 35 and 40 years of age, over six feet tall, with dark, bushy hair.
Mendenhall is 5'11" (as printed on his driver's license... which was copied and posted on the internet unaltered, complete with home address and license number) and his hair is not in the least bushy. By claiming tall with brown hair instead of over six feet with bushy dark hair, they are attempting to change the facts to fit the guy who is currently in the news.

Thirdly, they describe the truck in the Zywicki case and attempt to liken it to the truck Mendenhall was driving when he got arrested. This comparison is completely ridiculous as Bruce has only been driving for Danny Davis for around a year, and thus would not have been driving that truck (is the truck even 15 years old?) in 1992.

There is also the case of Dusty Shuck, 24, who was found dead in Maryland in May 2006. She was reportedly found with a slit throat near a truck stop. She was a schizophrenic who had left Silver City, NM in April 2006 and headed east. There's absolutely no indication that she was a hooker. As with the Zywicki case, this does not fit Mendenhall's pattern. Pamela Rigaux of The Frederick News Post out of Frederick, MD seems to be doing similar work to CBS 2. They first reach for the reader's sympathy by writing the completely uneducated opinion of the victim's mother:
"There's a very good possibility he is the one," she said. "He's confessed to six murders."

The victims were killed in different ways, but many of the bodies were found at truck stops, Atwood said. Shuck's killer slashed her throat, but a lack of evidence at the crime scene led police to believe she was not killed where her body was found.
The logic applied here is appalling. You can't just say "He killed six people, so he's probably the one that killed her too." Wouldn't the more apt logic be that if he's confessed to six murders, he's likely not going to be hiding anything anymore (What's he got to lose? When you're likely up for death or six life sentences, what's a few more going to hurt?), so he'd probably tell you if he killed this one as well. This isn't great logic, but it's better than theirs.

Later in the article, they attempt to tie everything together by saying:
The route out of Silver City is I-10, Atwood said. It runs east into Alabama, five hours south of Birmingham. The death of the girl found at a truck stop in Birmingham occurred on July 1, 2007, more than a year after Shuck's death. I-70, a highway truckers use to and from Indianapolis, goes through Breezewood, Pa. where witnesses say they saw Shuck on May 3, 2006, the night before her death.
Well, what a lovely exploration of the US Interstate system. They are attempting to make a case on the fact that I-70 runs through Indy and the town in PA where Shuck was seen the night before she died as well as the fact that I-10 runs a mere five hours south of Birmingham? Do they realize how far an extra five hours is out of someone's way? Also, if she was seen alive May 3rd in PA, why does I-10's proximity to Birmingham, AL matter? Furthermore, Mendenhall's route they are trying to connect this to is not even relevant. Since he's only been driving for Danny Davis for around a year, he most likely did not have that route in May 2006.

Both of these cases seem to be completely unrelated, and insisting that they are connected to Mendenhall only impedes the search for the actual culprits, barring the very slim chance that he may be involved.

The media needs to learn that not everything ties up into a nice neat little bow. You can't attribute every unsolved murder over the last decade and a half to one guy and you can't attribute every wrestling death to steroids. Before you start trying to do the investigator's work for them in major publications, perhaps you should at least make sure you've done enough research on the subject to make an educated guess. When you come upon things that disprove your case, don't try to mask them as you continue in your argument. Admit that your argument has a flaw and change your argument to one that heads in the right direction. As members of the media, you have far more influence over the public than you think (and than you should). Quit abusing this influence and misinforming the public. America's stupid enough.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Sources:
http://crimeblog.us/?p=503
http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=20070713&Category=NEWS03&ArtNo=707130430&SectionCat=NEWS&Template=printart
http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070714/NEWS03/707140349/1017/NEWS
http://www.theolympian.com/national/story/162168.html
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_194232052.html
http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display.htm?StoryID=62499
http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/seekinfo/zywicki.htm

Monday, April 30, 2007

Close, but not quite...

Today, MSN is featuring an article entitled "The Customer Service Hall of Shame" in which they reveal the results of some user polls as to who has the worst customer service. As would be expected, my old foe Verizon scored on their list. However, I was quite surprised as to how low it scored. The results were:

Hall of Shame
Sprint ~ 40%
Bank of America ~ 30%
Comcast ~ 30%
Time Warner Cable ~ 29%
AT&T ~ 26%
Citibank ~ 24%
Wal-Mart ~ 23%
Verizon ~ 22%
Wells Fargo ~ 21%
DirecTV ~ 20%

Dishonorable Mention
Dell ~ 19%
Circuit City ~ 19%
Best Buy ~ 14%
Home Depot ~ 13%
Sears ~ 12%
Macy's ~ 10%
Now, while I'll agree that Citi deserved a higher spot on this list, judging by the fact that the whole company in essentially a highly organized scam, I don't understand how Verizon lost to Wal-Mart and AT&T. I realize there are a lot of people who hate Wal-Mart for no other reason than Wal-Mart is better at business than their businesses. I realize that AT&T scares a lot of people with their size. However, both of these companies have always provided excellent service and decent customer service. Verizon gives crap service and crap customer service.

Also, Wells Fargo should have been waaaay higher on the list. They are nearly as bad as Citi. In addition, I don't grasp the Dell haters. I have dealt extensively with Dell's customer service, and I haven't really had any problems at all with them.

One glaring omission from the list was PeoplePC. How were they left off? From my experience, they are one of the most poorly run companies I've seen, and their customer service is via a 900 number. How in the blue holy hell did they not make this list? Anyway, take all this for what you will, and feel free to complain about companies here if you'd like. There's no reason I should be the only one doing it.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Monday, April 23, 2007

Celebrity Fit Club

The downward trend continues for this show.

For the first few seasons, they had people like Ralphie May who actually needed to lose some weight to be healthy. Back then, my biggest gripe with the show was that they were harassing and pushing Tocarra too much, seeing as she was obviously in pretty good shape and carried her just over 200lb frame very well.

Over the last few seasons, I have only been able to stomach the first episode of each season. They just keep bringing in smaller and smaller celebrities, and for the last few seasons, they were mostly people I didn't give two s***s about.

Well, this season, I gave the first episode a chance again, and I have to say, I was disgusted. The largest female was in the 170lb range, while the rest came in around 150. Of course, Harvey and his two goons for the season had to act like they had just registered 600lbs.

It's 150lbs people! Unless she's really short, that doesn't even qualify for BBW. That's just average build! Will this show only be satisfied when every female celebrity is a lil carbon copy bonebag? What's worse is that this show is now essentially promoting that if you are a woman over 150lbs, then you are morbidly obese and you are going to die unless you lose 30lbs.

Thank you, Celebrity Fit Club, for seeing the uprising of the BBW movement, and giving it a swift kick in the self-esteem... f***ing assholes.

Oh, and Dustin Diamond is off his f***ing rocker too.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Monday, April 02, 2007

Frozen Foods Make You Skinny

Years ago, Subway introduced a guy named Jared. They started the commercial with "Remember Jared?" to which most of America replied "No." Nonetheless, Subway ran with the concept that eating their sandwiches (minus anything that might give them flavor) could help you lose weight. They also suggested the laughable notion that Jared was getting women since he lost the weight, which we all know is bunk. He was a fat, goofy looking son of a bitch. Now he's a skinny, goofy looking son of a bitch. Trust me, he's still not getting any.
Well, now Lean Pockets has started a similar campaign. Their guy is named Anthony, and he was a pale, kinda creepy, happy, smiling marshmallow until he started eating Lean Pockets religiously. Now, as you can tell from the top photo, which appears to be a mugshot from a recent arrest, that he is less happy, still creepy, and... uh... no longer wearing a hat. They couldn't get two full body shots? He could have taken the top pic while he was fat like the bottom pic if he had sucked in his cheeks and lowered his shoulders. Great before and after pictures, Lean Pockets!
Honestly though, does anyone believe that Lean Pockets were instrumental in his weight loss? Sure, they're not Hot Pockets, but they are still not health food. The only way I can see him effectively losing weight due to Lean Pockets is if his previous diet consisted of Crisco, road gravel, and random drifters.
I think the real key to this is when he mentions that:

with the wide variety of flavors, I didn't have to eat the same thing every day.
Tony, you do realize that there are more things in the grocery store than the frozen food aisle, right? There are aisles and aisles of pasta, and vegetables, and fruit, and dog food, and all kinds of wonderful foods that are better for you than friggin' Lean Pockets!
Don't get me wrong about this entry. I have absolutely nothing against larger folks (and actually prefer a BBW to a twig), but don't bulls*** me and tell me frozen foods are now a weight loss aid, at least not unless you give me a chance to grab the hip waders first.

--
Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

I Feel Old

Lately, I have felt very old. It could be due to being worn down by my many years on this planet. It could be due to the way the lives of others around me are going. Whatever the cause, I feel old. Of course, it doesn't help when AARP wants me to join. Yes, you read that correctly, and yes this is the 25 year old Big Cray you've all come to know and love (or absolutely despise... no middle ground). AARP is dying to have me join their organization. The letter I received from them the other day (and not the first mind you) went as follows:

Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.
Fully eligible, eh? What wonderful records they have, much like Verizon's. Anyway, it continues:
If you have already sent in your registration, please excuse this notice
Nope, haven't sent in my registration, can't excuse this notice. I guess I have to read on...
You need only return the form above. Please remove and keep the card below as your record of enrollment. You will receive a new card and Membership Kit, with full details of your benefits.
Well, bully for me then! That sounds like an official invitation. All I have to do is fill out the form that asks my date of birth, work status, desired membership length and rate, which I guess I should assume is optional because there is a nifty check box for "check enclosed," which I will definitely leave unchecked when I return this to claim my membership to AARP, and they can't do a damn thing about it. I mean... they said it very clearly that I "need only return the form" because their "records show" that I'm "fully eligible." There's nothing in there about aging a bunch of years or sending them any money.
25 year old senior citizen coming through! Move it you damn punk whipper snappers!

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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Cray's Tech Journal: You have GOT to be kidding me!

Cray's Tech Journal

PeoplePC has been given an AWARD! (Other than my 'Worst ISP Ever' honorsThis has to be a joke, right? Of all things PeoplePC could get an award for, they're getting an award for customer satisfaction? This is the company that has a 900 number for tech support! This is the company that requires its users to utilize a highly flawed dialer instead of DUN. This dialer will dial-up to long distance numbers without a second thought, leaving its customers with insane phone bills. This cannot be! I had to look into this further. After a quick Google search, I had discovered the awful truth: This very well can be!

As is detailed at J.D. Power and Associates' own site, they handed this honor over to PeoplePC back in September. How could they have won this honor when I get tons of hits daily from Google searches for "PeoplePC frequent disconnects" and the like due to an article I wrote about them months ago? PeoplePC ranking highly in customer service goes against everything many experienced techs like myself have dealt with on the ground. When I read the article, however, I discovered exactly why PeoplePC was able to win:

PeoplePC receives the highest ratings from customers in four factors: cost of service, billing, e-mail services, and offerings and promotions.
The only actual service they were judged upon was email! It doesn't take into account whether or not the user can ever actually connect to the internet successfully, be helped by the tech support, or afford a phone bill after PeoplePC's "Smart Dialer" has been dialing to 400 miles away.
This honor means absolutely nothing! It is not an award for customer service. It's an award for cheap service. J.D. Power and Associates, you have lost every shred of what little credibility I was willing to lend you. You are completely and utterly incompetent. Have every member of your staff get rid of their current internet connection and replace it with PeoplePC for six months. Then, I believe you would be ready to rate them accurately.
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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute