Verizon: The Never Ending Saga

Yes, Verizon still sucks.
As I mentioned in the previous entry, Verizon, continued, I mentioned an offer for an unlimited calling plan that came in the mail as I was typing it. I ridiculed their slogan and some of their presumptuous and just plain incorrect claims.
Well, I looked into their little calling plan, just for fun.
The key to it is the unlimited long distance, but there are also three other key components to the package: caller ID, call waiting, and voice mail. So, one would assume if they pay for the service, they would get all the advertised features, right? WRONG!
Yep, it actually turns out that Verizon does not offer voice mail here. So, seeing as they can't fulfill the entire advertised package, they'll give a discount to make up for the missing services, right? WRONG!
Of course not! They're Verizon! Without the misery of their customers, how would they power their cell network? No greedy, evil, monopolistic corporation would ever give a discount for anything as simple as not being able to actually provide the service the customer is paying for.
I have found a fun game to play with Verizon, though. When you write the check to them, mix it up month to month in the "pay to the order of" section.
Here are some past examples that cashed out just fine:
"Verizon Monopoly"
"Verizon Evil Monopoly"
"Verizon Pennybags"
"Verizon: Almost as good as a cup & string"
"Veribadservice"
and, for some reason:
"Lifelong Virginz"

I think next month, it needs to be written out to "Anyone BUT Verizon".

Of course, this mentality I have when it comes to my sub-par phone company is nothing new. Once, when I was in college, we actually burnt the corners of the return envelope, smeared motor oil on it, wadded it up and stomped on it a bit, dipped it in butter and then drug it through some dirt. Ah, good times. Now, before one says I brought their wrath upon myself, I must say in my defense that this occurence was after Verizon had double billed us and we had to work our butts off to get them to fix the error.
So it has been, for years on end. Verizon screws with us, and we screw with Verizon. Sadly, when it all comes down to it, it's not working in our favor, and it seems that whatever we do, we are the ones who will end up screwed.
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-Big Cray: Accept No Substitute