Verizon, continued

First off, I'd like to apologize for the layout here at the time of this writing. I just registered this blog, and simply haven't had time yet to get into modifying the template into something more presentable. I'll get to it... trust me.
Secondly, for those of you who don't know who I am, you may need to read up on some of my former writing to get up to speed with some of the things I'll talk about. I am a computer technical professional, as it is made apparent at cray.atspace.com. I'm also a bit of a loudmouth, as it is made apparent by my writings at Andyville. This particular entry is a continuation of my recent rant on Verizon. Now that you're up to speed, we can move on.
When I last spoke of the evil corporation that is Verizon, it was regarding their refusal to offer DSL in certain smaller markets where they have a monopoly on landlines. This, along with a gross lack of broadband services offered in our area combine to leave me with dial-up... in 2006... friggin' dial-up!
Well, after that wonderfully refreshing rant, some time goes by, and sure enough, the Karma for torturing old Stan came around and bit me in the butt because my two phone lines started crosstalking to an unacceptable extent, not to mention picking up what sounds like a ground loop.
I have two phone lines: one for normal phone operations, and one for data. Recently, if I pick up either line, especially for about three days after it rains, you can hear, sometimes quite clearly, the activity on the other line. This is accompanied by a loud buzz and sometimes some crackle.
This plays serious havoc with the data line. I've had days where the best internet connection it could achieve was 4.2kbps. Most days it is connecting around 21.6kbps. However, a few months ago, it connected 38-42kbps. Also, it has gotten to the point that one can hear the modem talk so loudly when listening to the normal phone line that they can barely hear the person on the other end of the conversation. In addition to this, ringing of the main line seems to be disconnecting the modem on the data line now.
On a dry day, when the problem was not too severe, I tested at their network interface box on the side of the structure, effectively disconnecting the house wiring, and plugged in two phones, one on each line. I then hit a key on each phone to silence the dial tone, and held a button on one phone while listening in the earpiece of the other. The touchtone was clearly audible in the earpiece. I've also done a similar test on a wetter day, and gotten the same results, in addition to the ground loop sound and crackle. Therefore, I've deduced that it is somewhere in the line coming into the box, and not associated with the in-house wiring. What I'm guessing is that some of the vintage 1977 line has began to leak, and it's grounding out when it rains. Of course, that's just my guess.
So, I finally decided to call Verizon about it. I explained the problem, and then explained the tests I had performed. Despite my explanation that the problem existed when the house wiring was not even connected, she mentioned that we had "inside line maintenance" on our plan, so there wouldn't be a charge for the visit they would make. That's good, but why does that matter? It's in their line, not our internal line!!! Regardless, Verizon says they will come out and look at it. However, the date they gave me that they would be here by: two weeks from the date I called. Wow, talk about service....
The irony knows no bounds, because, as I was typing this entry, the mail arrived, and in it was an offer for an unlimited calling plan from Verizon. Now, for fun, I'm going to quote parts of this that just make my head hurt.
"Talk all you want -- with service you can count on."
"And of course, you'll get it all with the reliable service that you've come to expect from Verizon."
"Everything you want is right here. So why go anywhere else? From phone service and high-speed Internet to home entertainment, no one gives you a greater range of services at a better price than Verizon."
Ok... they're not paying attention. The service sucks. The reliability is non-existant. They don't offer any type of internet service or TV here... hell, they barely offer phone service... AND THEY OWN ALL THE LINES! Verizon: They never start working for me.
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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute