Duck and Cover

The little spotlight news topic on the left side of Hotmail this afternoon reads:

"Hot on Hotmail
Gossip: Is Jessica Biel now a Yankees fan?"

Seriously, when did this become news? I've made no secret in the past about my distaste for inane celebrity gossip, but I believe this reaches a new level of useless knowledge. This wasn't someone being dumped via text message. This wasn't a drunken driving incident. This wasn't someone shoplifting. This is a rumor about someone's taste in ball clubs. Excuse me while I change religions and prep the bomb shelter over this Earth-shattering news...
(Yes, I realize the article deals with a possible relationship between her and one of the New York Overpaid Babies, but just let me have my fun ridiculing the teaser.)

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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute