Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Anytime!

I found out an amusing fact today. A certain evil corporate entity does not know the definition of the word "anytime." I'll give you a split second to guess who that could possibly be.
Did you guess Verizon? If you didn't, you haven't been paying attention. It appeared as if there was a possibility that I was going to be late getting my phone bill paid if I mailed it, so I decided to take Verizon up on their offer to handle it online. On every bill, there's a paragraph to the right of the account summary as follows:


Convenience! Manage Your Verizon Account Online, Anytime!
Order services, view & pay your bill, request repairs, anytime day or night! At verizon.com click "Sign In" under "My Account." New user? Start with:
User ID: [Phone Number]$
Password: [Password]
and customize your ID as you register.

Boy, that sounds like a good idea. As a new user, just log in with that information and then set up the account. So, I followed their directions to the letter, and I recieved:



Wonderful. Never trust Verizon. Apparently "this time" is not part of "Anytime!" Apparently the "inconvenience" they are apologizing for is part of the "Convenience!"
Anyway, I went in and registered for an account on their site using a method that completely differs from the instructions on their billing statements, and was prepared to pay my bill. I had my Visa check card in hand, ready to debit my way to victory. What could possibly waste my time now?
Verizon does not accept credit or debit cards. Yes, it is 2006, and they have a website where one can make payments, but they don't accept credit, debit, or Paypal. They only accept the routing number for your checking or savings account. Way to keep up with the times, Verizon! Perhaps in the future you can accept payment in the form of shiny rocks and livestock. So, now I have to go dig up my checkbook to get the routing number. I knew you'd find a way to waste more of my time, Verizon! To avoid another last minute payment like this, I'm going to pay next month's bill early. The chicken is in the mail.
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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute

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